On Friday, 5 October 2018, our Granny Esmay passed away.
I first met Granny in 2002 and at that time, we shared a 'family and friends' lift club on the Athlone route! It was because of her that warm Wembley rolls on a Sunday evening became a thing.
I grew to know her and I was struck by her fierce protection of the truth of the Gospel and her unwavering belief system that she would share in a firm and feminine way. As Dear Husband's longest living grandparent, we realised with time, how valuable her role was in the family and in the last few years had really capitalised on opportunities to meet together with her and all the extended family on special calendar days and Sunday lunches - a Granny's favourite meal, I believe.
These days, having a Great-grandparent is a rare thing. When I was away for work, the kids and their Dad would often visit with her and come back with stories, smiles and photos of a wonderful time. These memories were revisited this week as we shared the news of Granny's death with them. And here are a few of the lessons that I learnt on the way:
Announcing the death of a loved one to your children can be awkward.
Even though we had taken the kids to say goodbye to Granny before we left on this trip, and they could see that she was sick, it felt strange when the time came to tell them that she had died while we were sleeping. We parents looked across the breakfast table at each other, egging the other one on to start the conversation. I felt hesitant to make the first mention because I wasn't sure how sensitive Dear Husband was feeling. After all, this was his grandmother and a somewhat more personal loss for him.
Then, we would need to use the best words - died; passed on peacefully; took her last breath; fell asleep... what do these terms sound like to children?
We tried to keep it as plain and simple as possible - and not focusing solely on Granny, but also their grandfather (her son) and their Dad and Uncle (her grandsons) ...even Ma, who they would see later that day. One death would impact many people.
Child-like faith will blow your mind.
Once we gave them the news, their responses were seemingly well considered yet not without emotion. I was so encouraged to see their peaceful acceptance as well as their sensitivity for the situation - contented with her new home, relieved that she was no longer suffering and feeling both sadness and hopefulness for the family that remained behind to mourn her.
We believe that Granny is ina better the best place and that gives us peace amidst the sadness.
No matter how old or sick someone can be, their death brings sadness. The loss is real and permanent - for this life - and we cling to the memories of long and not so long ago, for comfort.
Part of E's prayer for the family on this day, was that Pa and Dad and all the family would be happy that they would see Granny again one day in Heaven! That we could celebrate that she was with the God that she lived for and whose gift she had shared with all of her children, grandchildren, great grand children and others! He mentioned the wonderful chance for a reunion of Pa and his siblings at the funeral many times too. Altogether again after a long time...Talk about perspective.
Farewell, Granny! Thank you for all that you taught us through your life. We trust that you are now free from this world and fully restored.
I first met Granny in 2002 and at that time, we shared a 'family and friends' lift club on the Athlone route! It was because of her that warm Wembley rolls on a Sunday evening became a thing.
I grew to know her and I was struck by her fierce protection of the truth of the Gospel and her unwavering belief system that she would share in a firm and feminine way. As Dear Husband's longest living grandparent, we realised with time, how valuable her role was in the family and in the last few years had really capitalised on opportunities to meet together with her and all the extended family on special calendar days and Sunday lunches - a Granny's favourite meal, I believe.
These days, having a Great-grandparent is a rare thing. When I was away for work, the kids and their Dad would often visit with her and come back with stories, smiles and photos of a wonderful time. These memories were revisited this week as we shared the news of Granny's death with them. And here are a few of the lessons that I learnt on the way:
Announcing the death of a loved one to your children can be awkward.
Even though we had taken the kids to say goodbye to Granny before we left on this trip, and they could see that she was sick, it felt strange when the time came to tell them that she had died while we were sleeping. We parents looked across the breakfast table at each other, egging the other one on to start the conversation. I felt hesitant to make the first mention because I wasn't sure how sensitive Dear Husband was feeling. After all, this was his grandmother and a somewhat more personal loss for him.
Then, we would need to use the best words - died; passed on peacefully; took her last breath; fell asleep... what do these terms sound like to children?
We tried to keep it as plain and simple as possible - and not focusing solely on Granny, but also their grandfather (her son) and their Dad and Uncle (her grandsons) ...even Ma, who they would see later that day. One death would impact many people.
Child-like faith will blow your mind.
Once we gave them the news, their responses were seemingly well considered yet not without emotion. I was so encouraged to see their peaceful acceptance as well as their sensitivity for the situation - contented with her new home, relieved that she was no longer suffering and feeling both sadness and hopefulness for the family that remained behind to mourn her.
We believe that Granny is in
No matter how old or sick someone can be, their death brings sadness. The loss is real and permanent - for this life - and we cling to the memories of long and not so long ago, for comfort.
Part of E's prayer for the family on this day, was that Pa and Dad and all the family would be happy that they would see Granny again one day in Heaven! That we could celebrate that she was with the God that she lived for and whose gift she had shared with all of her children, grandchildren, great grand children and others! He mentioned the wonderful chance for a reunion of Pa and his siblings at the funeral many times too. Altogether again after a long time...Talk about perspective.
Farewell, Granny! Thank you for all that you taught us through your life. We trust that you are now free from this world and fully restored.
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