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Go get her!

I still clearly remember the bus trip on my first youth camp up in Gauteng. We travelled in almost complete silence for the entire day and night journey. Ridiculous, in hindsight. On the return trip just 7 days later, with the excitement of camp and friends and more, we couldn't believe how we'd wasted the 20+ hours in the week before by not engaging!

It came to mind today when I realised that nursing in the wingback for at least 30 minutes a go, many times a day, was the perfect time and place to get stuck into a book! I mean, what a great opportunity for a mom to escape for a bit?
And to think that I almost wasted my entire bus trip of maternity leave before discovering it. [So when I walked over to the chair for the next feed, I caught myself breaking out a smug smile, just to reiterate!]

And that's really how I'm starting to feel about a few more things...

For instance, this blog posting, and forgetting that the reason I started it in the first place was to 1. have a record of what was happening in our life and 2. share it with others. Then I confused this with super story telling, keeping up with other bloggers while sounding clever and fresh enough. Fail.
Reboot.
I have a desire to write and share our journey. I enjoy taking pics too. What's so hard to decifer? Just post it!

Just for fun, I tried my ballet leotard and skirt on earlier. (Cue gasp and giggle) Then, shimmying past the heavily laden clothes horse of laundry, I hooked on the metal end and promptly punctured my leotard with a pen tip size hole. Must be a sign...🙈, I thought. Then on second thought I wondered - who's to say I can't go back to ballet? Plus I've just heard of a school that's much closer! Sure, I'll need to sew up the hole, buy a new pair of tights (after PJ used the last one as a emergency pool filter last Summer!) and muster up the courage to walk through the front doors...but it's there.

The potential to be more me. *And by that I mean the me I can be because of what He's done for me.

A similar excitement to what I felt coming home from camp all those years ago is what fuels me now - and many others have said it before me:
Make it count
Find those moments
You should be here
Attitude equals altitude

A verse that keeps reminding me of this thought adjustment is 1 John 4:19, "We love because He first loved us."
Before we knew, He knew
Before we tried on our own and lost, He won for us
Before our purpose was understood by us, He gave it
Before all creation, He existed
Before it happened, He was there
Before any new season begins or ends, He is there in it.

If I measure my behaviour, reasons and reactions using this ruler, I almost always have to readjust it. But I'm learning how to do it. God knows how every bus trip plays out.

All I know more now than before is that looking back over a leave or lifetime, I don't want to sit wishing I'd been more *me.

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