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Gran Jean's Birthday

 

Gran Jean's Birthday 2020

When something significant happens, I feel a lot of pressure to say something profound. A wedding, a pregnancy, a milestone birthday, a death, an achievement, a disappointment... All of these moments are major occurrences and the pressure is on to say something powerful and to mean it!  So it's really bothered me that I haven't been able to put into words what has been swirling in my head since we received the news that our dear Gran Jean passed away in June.

When Gramps Ikey passed away ten years ago, the words fell into place almost instantly and I felt that they encapsulated both my memories and grief so well. But this time, between the distance and the unexpectedness of her passing, I am still in a state of disbelief today.

My Grandmother was so much more than the beesting cakes, lengthy special occasion speeches, homeopathic remedies, everyday life hacks and choice phrases that often come to mind - especially over these past two months - and as I think of these things now, the tears fall.

My Grandmother was a force. She taught me about confidence and compassion. She showed me the value of home-making and head-shaking, and she always pushed me to aim high. I never considered what life would be like without her presence and now it's here.

When we last saw each other in 2019, we greeted each other as if our separation would only be temporary and I hope that it is so. Watching you step into a new season of your life after Gramps passed away was such a learning opportunity for me and the biggest lesson I learnt was that nothing lasts forever, only Jesus.

Over the last ten years, as you held my babies, joked with my husband, prayed for us and wished us well, and Zoomed with us from faraway, I noticed how you started to forget some things, repeat other things and grow confused now-and-then. You were always a good sport about it and reinforced the saying that the best laughs to be had are when we laugh at ourselves!

Yet, never once did you mince your words about your faith and your deep desire for us to have the saving grace that you lived under. 

And this is my hope - when words fail, distance is too great and we cannot travel back in time - that you are in the place that you lived for, in the presence of your Saviour and that we will meet again, one day.


 

We love you, Nana.

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