I started this blog mainly to document my family's story...from newlyweds to parents of an only child and then a family of four. I never promised that my stories would always be Crabtree & Evelyn and good thing too because today is one of those less pleasant instances.
As I leaned over and petted his head, I realised how unfamiliar his fur felt. I had not been close to him in a long time. It triggered the lump in my throat and I quickly excused myself, saying that I needed to find the leash. I never did find the leash, but by the time I returned P-J was already walking with him outside and to the waiting car. I stopped at the front door to try and catch my breath and stop the tears but they just wouldn't cease. I cried openly as I handed over the bucket of food and his Beeno treats.
Today we were saying goodbye to Jax.
Jax arrived early in last month in our effort to help out his previous family - who already had many pets and couldn't take him to their new residence. At the same time, we thought that it would help us get over losing Chico so suddenly in February. Jax was shy at first, standing outside by the back door as if waiting for a paper invitation. Within a week though he seemed settled and within 2 weeks he had already grown in size substantially! The kids enjoyed his playfulness and P-J was impressed by his protectiveness over us when others entered the house.
A Dad, a Mom, 2 Kids and a Dog - it sounds like the start of a whole new blog! And yet, by the first week in June we were realising that our schedules plus his needs were not adding up. We couldn't provide more than shelter and food and he also needed play time, pets and walks...oh, and puppy school to control that bladder! Then early last week, as I ventured out into the back yard to hang out washing, I found that he had annihilated the peg bag - leaving no peg unscathed - nor the peg bag itself. A day later we found 2 towels laid out like a magic carpet beside his bed, at least 5 full pairs of shoes planted around and Jorja's bicycle seat foam scattered like confetti over the fading buffalo grass.
He was making a statement. Or he was planning one hell of a burial party judging by the holes we found upon closer inspection of the back yard today!
So at the beginning of the new week I made contact with a lady who handles dog placements for urgent adoptions. She seemed kindhearted and eager to help our situation, which was a great relief. Once she confirmed that she would come around, I felt my heart pang a little. Regret. Could I really lose a pet - and not to death or theft? Could I give up our dog?
I woke up at 6.30am this morning and let Jax in to the kitchen with me while I cleaned and cleared to distract my mind which was set on what would unfold by 8am. From his head bent sideways looking at me, to packing up his bed and picking up the remnants of the outside dustpan(!!) I wondered how I could feel so much guilt for doing what I really thought was best for this pup. But it hurt.so.bad.
It'll take a few nights to get used to not hearing his paws scratching the surfaces, or watch Jorja and Ethan work in tandem to issue his feed...I'm sure that sometimes when I look at the front gate when we pull into the driveway, I'll remember that day we got home and found him sitting by the front door, (having broken out of the back gated area) waiting for us like a doorman. I still don't know how long he sat waiting there that day!
Apparently Jax is on his way to a family in Gordon's Bay. Jorja reckons it feels a bit like he's dead. Can't help but agree with her more but I didn't quite feel up to saying it out loud today. Ethan remains hopeful that he'll see both Chico and Jax again. Oh, that would be nice, Boy.
But for now, I've realised that I am not too old to cry for a pet. And I'm standing by the decision to give him up to a new home, trusting that they can enjoy him and he, them.
As I leaned over and petted his head, I realised how unfamiliar his fur felt. I had not been close to him in a long time. It triggered the lump in my throat and I quickly excused myself, saying that I needed to find the leash. I never did find the leash, but by the time I returned P-J was already walking with him outside and to the waiting car. I stopped at the front door to try and catch my breath and stop the tears but they just wouldn't cease. I cried openly as I handed over the bucket of food and his Beeno treats.
Today we were saying goodbye to Jax.
Jax arrived early in last month in our effort to help out his previous family - who already had many pets and couldn't take him to their new residence. At the same time, we thought that it would help us get over losing Chico so suddenly in February. Jax was shy at first, standing outside by the back door as if waiting for a paper invitation. Within a week though he seemed settled and within 2 weeks he had already grown in size substantially! The kids enjoyed his playfulness and P-J was impressed by his protectiveness over us when others entered the house.
A Dad, a Mom, 2 Kids and a Dog - it sounds like the start of a whole new blog! And yet, by the first week in June we were realising that our schedules plus his needs were not adding up. We couldn't provide more than shelter and food and he also needed play time, pets and walks...oh, and puppy school to control that bladder! Then early last week, as I ventured out into the back yard to hang out washing, I found that he had annihilated the peg bag - leaving no peg unscathed - nor the peg bag itself. A day later we found 2 towels laid out like a magic carpet beside his bed, at least 5 full pairs of shoes planted around and Jorja's bicycle seat foam scattered like confetti over the fading buffalo grass.
He was making a statement. Or he was planning one hell of a burial party judging by the holes we found upon closer inspection of the back yard today!
So at the beginning of the new week I made contact with a lady who handles dog placements for urgent adoptions. She seemed kindhearted and eager to help our situation, which was a great relief. Once she confirmed that she would come around, I felt my heart pang a little. Regret. Could I really lose a pet - and not to death or theft? Could I give up our dog?
I woke up at 6.30am this morning and let Jax in to the kitchen with me while I cleaned and cleared to distract my mind which was set on what would unfold by 8am. From his head bent sideways looking at me, to packing up his bed and picking up the remnants of the outside dustpan(!!) I wondered how I could feel so much guilt for doing what I really thought was best for this pup. But it hurt.so.bad.
It'll take a few nights to get used to not hearing his paws scratching the surfaces, or watch Jorja and Ethan work in tandem to issue his feed...I'm sure that sometimes when I look at the front gate when we pull into the driveway, I'll remember that day we got home and found him sitting by the front door, (having broken out of the back gated area) waiting for us like a doorman. I still don't know how long he sat waiting there that day!
Apparently Jax is on his way to a family in Gordon's Bay. Jorja reckons it feels a bit like he's dead. Can't help but agree with her more but I didn't quite feel up to saying it out loud today. Ethan remains hopeful that he'll see both Chico and Jax again. Oh, that would be nice, Boy.
But for now, I've realised that I am not too old to cry for a pet. And I'm standing by the decision to give him up to a new home, trusting that they can enjoy him and he, them.
Love and hugs and kisses 😘
ReplyDeleteJust had my own cry about this now. And I never even saw Jax in the flesh!
ReplyDeleteSorry it hurts. You did what any mommy would do - you did what was best for her babies - the human and fur kind xx